Friday "Everything's Pissing Me Off Today" Meme

MOST HATED...

FRUIT: Papaya
CANDY: Carmellos
BEVERAGE: Tomato Juice
COLOR: (How can somebody hate a color?) Hmmm. Cotton Candy Pink. As a side note, in college, I painted my bedroom Cotton Candy Pink and Bright Red. It was an interesting year.
TV SHOW: I run screaming from Wife Swap or similar-themed shows.
MOVIE: Dawn of the Dead
ANIMAL: Not a big fan of pit bulls. I live across the street from a breeder.
INSECT: Mosquitos.
BIRD: Who hates birds? I mean, really? Come on. Let's say Pelicans. Don't ask why.
SEASON: Summer. I can't tolerate hot, steamy weather.
AGE OF KIDS: I've met some really bratty six year olds.

...WHAT ANNOYS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING WHEN...

DRIVING?: Definitely not using turn signals. My husband slows down to turn into a parking lot, but waits until the last moment to turn on his blinker. It drives me batty.

TALKING ON THE PHONE?: Can this be about other people talking on the phone? 1. Too-loud ringers. 2. Someone talking on the cell phone while in the public bathroom. I start flushing non-stop just to piss them off.

WATCHING TV OR MOVIES: Commercials. Gawd, they suck hard.

EATING IN RESTAURANTS: People who glare at my son because he's making a lot of noise. Why can't some people just relax and enjoy the innocent laughter and frivolity of toddlers? No one else gets that excited from stacking jelly packets.

GOING THROUGH DRIVE-THRUS: Mixing up my order. Taco Bell gave us the totally wrong bag yesterday... And since their stuff isn't tightly wrapped, I was really annoyed that I looked through a bag of tacos and was touching food intended for someone else. Where the hell was my quesadilla? Then they had to remake our order which took another five minutes. It was revolting. And did they give us a free cinnamon twists to assuage our anguish? No. They just said "Sorry." I have it on good authority (husband) that cinnamon twists are ridiculously cheap and easy to make. Take spiral macaroni pasta, uncooked, throw it in a deep fat fryer. Watch it sizzle and then expand. Shake it dry. Dust it with cinnamon and sugar. Done. Would that have been too painful to let us have a free pouch?

YOU'RE AT THE MALL: Um. I don't go to the mall because they piss me off so much. Is it wrong that I only shop at places with stuff on clearance? Seriously. The last time I was at the mall was for a Coworker Group playdate. If I was at a mall, I would be annoyed by people who eat while shopping. I once saw a lady munching on doritos and then using that same hand to paw through stacks of clothes. Everything was covered in cheese dust. Ick.

SLEEPING (OR TRYING TO SLEEP): As much as I appreciate my husband doing the dishes, we have a small house, and when he does the dishes after I get into bed, it sounds like he's banging glasses and pots together just to make noise. Kind of like the time I had Ben start playing with the pots and pans when Chester was sleeping in too late one Saturday. It sucks.

SHOWERING: I like hot showers. That is why I've insisted that my dear husband take his showers in the evenings so I can all of our hot water to myself. This was never a problem in our old apartment, but we have an electric water heater now, and it's true... those take forever to heat.

YOU'RE AT THE BEACH: Teenagers making out in the water when I'm trying to have wholesome playtime with my son, just yards away from the shallow end. Get a room, and keep your fluids inside, please.

YOU'RE AT THE GROCERY STORE: People who are in a huge hurry and cut me off, or just have a really pissy look on their faces. They suck. I smile at them while showing as many teeth as possible.

YOU'RE ON A DATE: The other person just sits there like a freaking lump on a really boring log. Won't give anything but one or two word answers to my questions. I get it that they're shy and I can have a really BIG personality sometimes, but come on. You're on a date to meet new people, start a relationship. Open up a little, damn it.

COOKING OR BAKING: Getting midway through preparations and cooking before I realize I'm missing a vital ingredient like eggs, milk, meat or wondra flour.

WHAT HOUSEHOLD CHORE DO YOU HATE THE MOST?: Kitty litter box. Hands down. The winner.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE WORST WAY TO DIE? Lung cancer. It's too slow and painful and distressing.

WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING HABIT IN OTHERS?: Whining. Life is what you make of it, and that includes work. I get disgruntled fairly often, but I still am able to find things I like about my job.

WHAT IS YOUR WORST HABIT?: Nose picking. Not in public. That's just gross. But even the private habits are worth a bit of shame.

WHAT FASHION TREND (PAST OR PRESENT)? Odd colors and applications of eye shadow. Bright blue or green eye liner. Leggings on girls who aren't built for them. Brown lip liner. But most of all, those damn curling-iron bangs. I was guilty of this in the nineties, but my sister was one of the major offenders. She did the curling iron bangs WITH hairspray that made them stand straight up and curl back. My sister-in-law still wears her hair like that. She also still gets perms.

WHAT POPULAR SONG (PAST OR PRESENT)? Pretty much anything from the seventies and eighties. That whole Retro Lunch thing on our local pop station? Yeah. Not for me. I'd rather listen to Rush Limbaugh.

WORST THING ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL: Hormones. Holy crap those things got me into a bunch of trouble. School would be much easier to deal with if there wasn't this whole DRAMA thing going on in your head.

MOST IRRITATING THING ABOUT YOUR CAR: I decided this morning that there are two kinds of people. Those who keep their cars clean like it's a rental and those who treat it like their bedroom closets. Sure, you have to have a place to put things, but crap tends to gather up in the corners. We are the latter. And it upsets me sometimes that I seem unable to keep our car neat and tidy.

TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT FEMALES? Oh, that's easy. Women who feel the need to bash guys all the time. I'm not a man-hater and I don't blame them for all the problems that women have. Take some responsibility for your own moods and actions, ladies.

TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT MALES? My husband feels that he knows everything about home improvement. His cockiness has caused a lot of broken things in our home. So something, like a faucet, doesn't get fixed... it now needs to be replaced. It's a Tim-the-tool-man-Taylor thing. Growl.