Thursday, May 17, 2007

Once Upon A Family. Baby Kicks.

Once upon a time, Mommy lived by herself in a nice-sized apartment with one and then two cats. She loved reading books, listening to books on tape, watching old movies, and cross-stitching.

Mommy went to school for a while and studied technical writing and journalism, and she worked at the school newspaper. She loved being the boss, and she loved having her own office. Life became really busy and noisy, so Mommy changed her and decided to find a different job that would make her happier.

So Mommy started to take care of a baby girl named Claire. She was so tiny and cute! Mommy drove thirty-five minutes every day to see Claire, but she didn't mind. It was so wonderful to spend the day caring for the needs of a little baby. Mommy would sing to Claire, dance with Claire, read to Claire, and give Claire hugs.

While Mommy was with Claire, she moved from the apartment by the university to an apartment in a different city to be nearer to Claire and her family. But Claire didn't stay a baby, and eventually, she started to go to a school for toddlers so she could be around other kids. Mommy was sad, but she still saw Claire three days a week. But Claire grew up even more, and Claire's mommy and daddy decided that Claire should be at the school all week long, and Mommy wouldn't need to take care of Claire anymore. That made Mommy very sad indeed.

Sometimes sad things happen to people, and they spend a lot of time being sad and unhappy. Mommy was no different. She was sad, but she also knew that life is full of blessings and miracles. Very soon after she stopped taking care of Claire, Mommy got a different job making other people's writing and designs prettier by taking out all of the mistakes. The miracle was that the new job made her just as happy as she was with Claire, but in a different way.

Mommy was still living by herself in a nice-size apartment with two cats. She still loved reading books, listening to books on tape, watching old movies and cross-stitching. But Mommy started to feel lonely. So Mommy went on the internet and made an effort to find Mr. Wonderful. After a not-very-long search, she found someone very special who loved Mommy very much, who also wanted a family, and who wanted to have a simple, happy life with Mommy.

Mommy and Daddy were married, and they wanted to start their family right away. They got their wish. Very soon, Mommy started to get a very big belly. Her belly grew so big because Baby Ben was inside! After Christmas, Ben was born and came out of Mommy's belly five weeks earlier than expected. But it was just the right time, and Mommy and Daddy finally got to hold and cuddle and kiss Baby Ben.

That little baby grew big, started to crawl, and then walk, and then run! Mommy and Daddy loved playing with Ben and having him around. They loved his smile and the funny faces he would make. And they decided that Ben might like to have another kid in the house, so Mommy's belly started to grow very big again. Another baby was on the way to join the happy family!

This morning while Chester was still in the shower, I sat on the kitchen floor with Ben and showed him the new magnetic puzzle I bought him earlier this week. The magnets are pictures of heavy trucks like bull dozers, zambonis, cement mixers, etc. It was so wonderful to be there with him and watching him discover new things. It gave me a glimpse as to what my life will be like when I'm home with him starting this fall. He was very serious and careful with the pieces... studying them and gently putting them on the fridge. He even helped me take them down and put them back in the box. It was a little piece of heaven, just for me.

Like yesterday, when I pulled my chair up to the keyboard at work. Little Baby gave me a big old kick, and I was startled and squealed a little bit. I've felt the quickening before, starting last week, but that was the first movement that wasn't just a flutter. I got a couple more kicks throughout the day, and it was marvelous. Like my own special gift. Something I get to experience before anybody else. It'll be a couple more months before Chester will be able to feel the kicks from the outside, so for now, I will continue to feel very special and get a flush of excitement when I feel this new little life grow inside. I've already been having fantasies of how wonderful it will be to hold a newborn in my arms again.

We never received any feedback from the center's director about our break-up letter. One of the teachers tried to talk us out of it by saying that they were planning on hiring more teachers for the Under Two room so Ben and the other kids his age would have the opportunity to get outside and play. Even so, they'd still be stuck for most of the day in that small room that doesn't have space for a table and chairs, the cots, the play equipment. I told that teacher that it would be a nice transition for him to go to a home daycare for the summer since he'll have to be staying home with me in the fall anyway. She could understand that, but she couldn't understand how disturbing it was to us that the center was going through such an upheaval.

Anyway. Tomorrow will be his last day, and I'm sure I'll cry a lot when dropping him off and picking him back up for the last time. We've grown so close to his teachers, and the center has been such a big part of his life. Ben won't understand why Mommy is crying because he's too young to understand he won't be going back there. Oh well.