The Last Week

So it's now officially my last week of employment before I join the ranks of the happy SAHMs. Yesterday, my replacement started. She's cuter than heck and very sweet. And I already feel superfluous. She's not proofing a lot yet, but she's making the rounds, getting introduced, and I continue packing up my cubicle and clean everything for her take over next week.

My boss and I are not talking a lot about my leaving. When we've mentioned it in the past, we both get rather emotional. And I'd rather not have to have a big goodbye scene with her. She's become a best friend... though we don't really admit that outloud. We'll still see each other, and she promises to email me, and we'll get together and have our boys play. I'll still be going into work to visit and show off the kids because, after all, my husband still works there.

But the wind down is happening. Every day I either pack another box or go through another file. Tomorrow we're having a potluck in the printer room as my Goodbye Cheryl sendoff. Friday, I have my exit interview with HR. And then I finish out my day and I'll be done. And I will not be wearing mascara that day.

In other news, today is the day of my gestational diabetes testing. I just guzzled down the Fanta-on-steroids glucola, and we'll leave for the doctor's office in about thirty minutes. After the blood draw, husband and I get to wait for an hour while they run the test, then we have my 29 week checkup with my doctor. On my list of things to talk to her about include bleeding hemorrhoids that don't itch but are scary, dizziness, and my fear that Anna is not growing quickly enough.

By this week when I was gestating Ben, I was measuring at least a few weeks ahead. I was huge. I'm big, and my belly is full and round, but it's a lot smaller. I'm lucky if I'm measuring at 28 weeks. I guess I'm just nervous because Ben was five weeks early, but a good size (6-14). What if I'm preterm again and Anna isn't that big? Ugh. Best case scenario is that she's small because she's not planning on making her getaway early... and even that kind of fills me with dread because I'm not really looking forward to being nine months pregnant (something I didn't have to live through with Ben because he was born already).

And my grouchy, hormonal self is also having traumas about life with a newborn. Life with newborn Ben was exciting and wonderful, but not blissful. I remember being very tired all the time. I'm worried that I haven't arranged enough people to come and stay and help me take care of Ben AND Anna after the birth.

But anyway. I hate sounding so bitchy. I'm quite in love with my little fetus. She kicks me constantly, and I have lots of fantasies about nuzzling her sweet little baby cheek and tickling her ear lobes.

And Ben is a delight. Very affectionate and loving. Very rambunctious and curious and loud. And he's saying more and more words now... but his favorite is "No!" Emphasis on the exclamation mark. He'll shout that especially when we ask him if he needs his diaper changed. As an added benefit to toddlerhood, he likes picking up trash from the floor and throwing it in the garbage. Just last night when husband was getting the coffee pot ready for morning, he went to dump out the old coffee grounds, and he was surprised to find two of Ben's shirts in the garbage. Ben helped. :)