Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A Little Righteous Anger

I remember when I quit smoking a month before I married Chris. I set a date, I prepared myself with some chemical-free stop smoking aids, and I enjoyed my last smoke. That was it. I didn't smoke again. Yes, it was really tough, and one of the many reasons I won't light up again is because I don't want to deal with quitting again.

Since I wasn't relying on patches or gum to help me with the process, I made it a mental exercise. I went through the typical stages of grief. One of them was anger.

I was so angry for a while. I was mad at myself for smoking in the first place, and then I got really mad at the friends I had who were smoking when I started, and finally, I was mad at the tobacco companies for making such a harmful product just because they can and because after the first pack, the product sells itself because of addiction.

This morning I woke up mad. I'm mad at the fast food companies for thinking it's a good idea to serve us garbage. Sure, some people can metabolize that crap food, but even if they can, it's still not doing their bodies any good. Why can't convenient food be good for us, too? They need to get that sh*t off the menu, because the people who keep buying it can't help it. They are addicted.

I'm mad at burgers and french fries and soda and milkshakes and fried chicken and all of that other stuff that helped me get fat. I'm mad that they exist, and I'm mad that I ate them. I'm mad that I let myself get to be 241 pounds before I finally said enough is enough.

Today when I go out for lunch with my husband, you can be damn sure we won't be going through the drive-through at Taco Bell or Burger King. Never again. We'll be going to a nice cozy diner where they have low-fat options on the menu, where they offer egg substitutes for their customers, where the dressing is always served on the side, and where every sandwich doesn't automatically come with french fries. I don't know what I'll be inspired to eat, but it sure won't be garbage. It'll be food that will help me stay on the right track, the track that has let me drop a total of 10.5 pounds already.