Moody Marriage Woes

My husband and I are sneaking off in a little while to go vote.

Something's a little off between us. I wish I could figure out what it is. We've never really analyzed our marriage dynamic, we just live it and let it evolve. Since we didn't really date before getting married (thank you eharmony), living together and being married has been an adventure in relationships.

I met Chester on eharmony in September of 2004. He was from Tucson, a computer geek of the highest order. We could read each other's minds even during our first phone conversation. We "clicked." I did a background check, learned about his parents, his past, his issues. He learned about mine. I knew I was going to marry him. I flew out to Tucson a month later. He flew out to Wisconsin for Thanksgiving to meet my family. Then we enjoyed a long-distance, over-the-phone relationship until March, when I flew back out to Tucson to help him pack up his stuff and move to Wisconsin. We had a little engagement/pre-marriage party in Tucson. Got married during a freak blizzard in Santa Fe. Honeymooned a little bit at bed and breakfasts between Arizona and Wisconsin. Had another party for my family here in WI.

So started our life together. It only took us a month and a half to get pregnant. 35 weeks later, Ben arrived and enriched our lives to no end.

I love my husband dearly. He and I co-exist together very well. We share a lot of laughs and love.

But sometimes, of course, I wish I could take a break from being married. It's so difficult to share a living space with someone.

Dammit, I'm moody. I don't always know "what's wrong." I've been tense about the whole getting pregnant again thing. Ben hasn't been sleeping through the night lately because he's teething. My boss at work just miscarried. We're broke, and since I'm the one who pays the bills, it's my fault. It's Chester's turn to do the dishes and he's been working at them a little bit every night, but now the dishes at the bottom of the sink are fetid and really stinky and that pisses me off to no end. Our mattress is really uncomfortable, but we can't afford a new one until spring. Because we're broke, I wasn't able to send my nephew a birthday card with money in it (like I normally do), and he's 13 years old now, and that's big deal.

None of my problems are serious, and I really try to not let them affect my daily life and my relationships. I know that Chester has his own issues right now that make him curmudgeonly as well. Put the two of us in the same small apartment with a whiny boy who's on a hunger strike because of his teeth, and you get things being a little "off." Life's not flowing smoothly.

I'm sure it'll even out soon.