Two Memes on a Saturday Morning

Thanks to Momma Val for tagging me for this meme. After reading hers, I feel a little like I'm cheating. You see, her middle name is Francine. That's eight letters. Mine is Lynn. Only four.

The Rules

1. Post the rules before you give your answers.

2. List one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name.

3. At the end of your blog post, tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged. (Yeah. I'm not doing that.)

My middle name is LYNN.

Learning. I'm a big fan of learning. I can't really remember a time I wasn't a fan, so I'm guessing it's a lifelong thing. As early as my third grade year, I remember my dad stumping me with logic problems. A lot of my memories from childhood revolve around special projects I did in school. A study on irrigation systems and Iowa in 3rd grade. Wallabies in 4th grade. Clara Barton in 7th. As an adult, I'm a big ol' History Channel geek, though we don't actually have that channel anymore since we downsized our cable package. When we go on vacation to someone's house with cable, we inevitably watch hours of Discovery Channel and the History Channel.

Yellow. I once gave a classmate a yellow shirt for her birthday. Her name was Kelly. The birthday party was in the afternoon, and we all spent the night. Fun times. She didn't really like the shirt, so she didn't remember that she had received it as a gift. She picked it up and asked if it belonged to someone else and therefore should be put back in someone's overnight bag. I was so embarrassed, I claimed it and took it back home. I never wore it. I don't look good in yellow, and the shirt was kind of ugly.

Noon. During my kindergarten year, the school day ended for me at noon. My mom would bring me home, and I would sprawl in front of the TV and wait for my quasi-picnic lunch to be served. Split pea soup with a side of buttered bread. I'd enjoy this feast while watching Mister Rogers. I'm assuming I didn't eat pea soup every day, but that's the only thing I remember eating.

Nit-picky. I don't know when it started. God knows I wasn't a tidy child. I don't remember a lot of OCD-type quirks. Maybe I first became nit-picky when I was in the 7th or 8th grade, and I practiced my handwriting. If I wasn't pleased with the way my letters looked when I was writing a letter to a penpal, I'd start over with a fresh sheet of paper. I would fill out pages and pages of notebook paper perfecting and inventing the ideal capital I. Having things be "right" and "clean-looking" was important... is still important. I guess that's why I made a good proofreader. Fixing mistakes was important to me, and I was very ashamed if I missed a glaring error and it went to print that way. My ears start burning just thinking about it.

And now there's a meme that my new friend k8spade from Rockin the Suburbs tagged me for. It's the six random things meme. I did a seven random things meme at the beginning of March. For this one, I'll change up the rules a bit. Here's six random awesome Ben and Anna things.

1. Ben can say the "r" in "car" now. Every time. It's fabulous.
2. Anna has been sleeping well for the last two nights. Only 2 wake-ups each night.
3. Ben loves Jello so much, he tries to scrape every last bit of it out of the bowl. I'll have to teach him the fine art of licking the bowl.
4. Anna loves to swing at the park so much. KS says she looks like a big grin with limbs, since her little body is completely hidden behind the toddler swing supports.
5. Last night, I distracted Ben from staying out of the bathroom by telling him that it was time to get his jammies on. He climbed up on the chair next to his dresser, pulled out a pair of jammies, and brought them to me. I was flabbergasted that A. He was able to get them on his own, and B. That he didn't throw a tantrum against the idea of jammies.
6. I'm so glad that I have short hair because Anna has the typical baby fascination with pulling and sucking on hair. She still manages to grab a hold of my short mop. It takes forever to untangle my tresses from her ninja grip.

The End.

Friday Meme 3 of 3

Now for the final meme, I present Val from Momma Val. A quirky SAHM from the suburbs from Chicago, she always brings something fresh to the table. She's neat, and I've learned a lot from her. She's someone who I know that I'd be friends with in real life, which is neat because we come from different worlds.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Yup. In another life, my dad was a teacher. He had a student named Cheryl Lynn who was very cute and sweet.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
The morning after my bad dream this week. I was overwhelmed with relief and love for Anna.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yup. I was homeschooled for a few years in elementary school, and I spent hours working on my penmanship.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Sun-dried Tomato Turkey

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Duh. I have two.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably not because I'm a bit of a recluse. I usually need friends who are willing to make more of an effort at keeping up a friendship.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Yes. Unfortunately, Ben doesn't get it yet.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I am not a big risk taker. So no.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Almost any kind of granola. Definitely something with nuts.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No, and I kind of hate that about me.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Sometimes.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Heck. Right now, almost anything would taste awesome. But I really love mint chocolate chip with fudge swirls.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their clothes. I'm not a prig, and I'm not a fashion diva... But I value neatness. I hate leaving the house in sweats and ratty t-shirts. It doesn't take much to make a decent impression.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My tendency towards inactivity. I really have to kick my ass most days to get moving.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Right now, I'm missing the family I used to nanny for. I also miss my mom, who is in California until Monday. And I wouldn't mind spending some time with my brothers and sisters.

18. WHAT IS YOUR IDEAL LIVING ARRANGEMENT (APT/BIG CITY, HOUSE/COUNTRY, ETC)?
Is it sad to say that I'm pretty damn happy right where I am? Small house in a small city. My second choice would be a larger house on the outskirts of town. Something with a big acreage where my children can safely roam and explore and make forts.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Jeans. No shoes. Not even socks. I pulled my laptop out as soon as I got up from my nap, and I'm not planning on accomplishing much this evening. The basement totally fulfilled my "need to do stuff" quota for the day.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A handful of nuts and raisins.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Anna squirming and huffing because I'm not holding her. Ben playing with his bead-and-wire box. TV.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
One of the pinkish red ones. Very versatile. I can use it for pink or red. It can be bricks, hearts, trees in the fall, lips, and Clifford.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Vanilla, fruits, fresh laundry, baby shampoo, cinnamon, chocolate.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Yesterday I talked to my SIL on the phone. I don't use the phone more than once or twice a week.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Totally.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
I love gymnastics. Ben loves NASCAR, so I put that on for him when Daddy is sleeping.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Dark brown. Getting darker as I get older. I was a blonde when I was born. My family is always startled by how dark my hair is now.

28. EYE COLOR?
Brown. More on the amber side rather than the chocolate side of brown.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
I'm allergic to them. I wear glasses.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Spaghetti.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings. I can't watch scary movies. Sometimes, I even have issues with CSI.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
That's easy. Cars.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Blue, green and white stripes.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Almost any kind of cheesecake. Or my mom's apple pie.

37. MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT?
I will probably be having it on Monday (but you'll have to wait for the blog post on that one). I still remember the feeling of humiliation when I kept pooping while I was birthing Ben. I know it's natural and no big deal, but dammit. It's just not something I do in front of people. Especially when I can't clean it up myself.

38. PROUDEST MOMENT (BEFORE MARRIAGE AND KIDS)?
Getting hired as a proofreader.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
I just finished listening to Citizen Vince by Jess Walker. Lots of profanity, but a VERY interesting story, and lots of neat writing techniques.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I have an iBook. My "mouse pad" is a small square of plastic that I run my finger around to make the cursor move.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
American Idol. Don't judge me.

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
My children laughing at each other.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Czech Republic.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I'm an excellent googler. I haven't met anyone in person who can match me on my searching skills.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Just down the street.

I'm ending with 46, because I'm feeling sentimental about my family. And because I'm not tagging anybody. If anybody needs blog fodder, they can go ahead and use any of these memes.

Friday Meme 2 of 3

This second meme also comes from RC of Hill Smith Family Update. She's the rare kind of woman who I would pay a small stipend to the gods if they would let her live next door.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Hmmm. That was one of the most difficult periods in my life. Everything was in upheaval, and I was hanging on by a thread. Eventually I got back on the right track, but it took a lot of time, therapy and medication. That's all I'm going to say about that.

For the glossy facade that I will talk about: I was a junior in high school, and I was really enjoying my time as photo editor-in-chief of the school newspaper. We went to the big newspaper conference at UW-Oshkosh, and I won some awards for my photography prowess. I spent most of my life in the darkroom that year. It was my zone. I also taught some advanced photography to some lower level students who showed interest.

I also went to state for forensics. My category was ferrago, and I won a shiny gold medal for my performance of depressive poetry, lyrics, and essays.

Snacks I Enjoy

Lately? Apple slices with natural peanut butter. Protein bars. Nuts.

If I didn't care about my health and reaching my weight loss goals in a timely fashion? I'd say brownies, cold sugary cereal, candy bars, and most types of cookies. I love pie as well.

Five Things On My To-Do List Today

1. Wake up and get dressed to shoes.
2. Drink coffee and make eggs for my husband.
3. Quickly do a straighten-up of the disaster-zone basement.
4. Scrub the basement floor after the Roto-Rooter guy leaves.
5. Nap.

I've done all of it. I didn't think my basement was that much of a disaster zone (the puddle of shit aside) until a stranger came down there with a flashlight to poke around the corners to look for a second main line entrance.

Things I Would Do If I Became A Billionaire

Pay off the debts of myself and those of my immediate families, including mortgages. Buy beautiful dream houses for them all.

Invest a good chunk of it and earmark the dividends for my favorite local charities, like the Salvation Army and the Women's Community.

I would spend the rest of my life traveling around the world one month a year, finding new places and people to bless with the funds and resources to accomplish their dreams. The rest of the time, my life wouldn't change much.

Three Bad Habits

If given the choice between staying home for an evening or spending time with a friend, I will almost always choose home. The reasons are complex and hard to iterate. It has something to do with insecurity and concerns about making such a fool out of myself that I lose a friend.

When I'm falling asleep at night, I pick dry skin off of my lips, squeeze pimples on my face and sometimes pick my nose. It happens in that quasi-dream state where I don't think I'm technically asleep yet, but I'm definitely not alert.

Sometimes I'm rude to my husband. I stop myself most of the time. Like I get upset about something, and my first impulse is to yell at him or call him a name. "Hey Asshole. Get over here and pick up your dirty socks from the floor." Okay. Not something that bad, but close. In my head, I pause and try to imagine Chris talking to me like that. He wouldn't even dream of it. My husband has never called me a name, even during a temper tantrum. For me, it's a bad habit from previous bad relationships.

5 Places I Have Lived

1. Here
2. Stevens Point, WI
3. Milwaukee, WI
4. Manitowish Water, WI
5. Minocqua, WI

Jobs I Have Had

Housekeeper at an upscale resort. Certified nursing assistant at a nursing home. Sandwich maker at a Cousin's Subs. Retail clerk at a tourist-y gift shop. Data entry assistant for a college office. Copy editor. Cafeteria wench. Building manager. Nanny. Order entry associate. Proofreader.

Things People Don't Know About Me

If I keep answering questions like this, I'll run out of secrets. I'm running on fumes as it is.

Here's two.

1. I go on tirades with Chris about people who aren't living lives of truth and honesty. Like the game show "The Moment of Truth." I would be so boring about that show, because I don't keep secrets. I find them worthless. If I can't be honest with my family and my husband about difficult subjects, I wouldn't feel like a good person. They don't know everything, but if I was pressed, I would always tell the truth. Why bother with lies? Life is short. Love hard.

2. I think I love the cartoon "Arthur" more than Ben does.

Friday Meme 1 of 3

In the past couple weeks, I've been tagged for no less than three memes. Now that I finally have time to do a meme, I felt bad about just choosing one meme from someone and ignoring the rest. So I'm doing them all. Get ready for information overload!

1 of 3 came from RC of Hill Smith Family Update. Dear friend. Lovely lady. The woman who wears turtlenecks but secretly hates them. The woman who is totally enamored with her personal organizer thing. It's almost obscene.

Basically, I need to list 7 weird or random things about me. Here it goes.

1. I just started twittering yesterday. Kind of addictive. Totally addictive. It was all I could do not to drag my laptop around the house with me yesterday.

2. I got my left foot stuck in the spokes of my mom's bike when I was a baby. Miracle, I only ended up with a thick scar running down the second toe.

3. When I was little, I called pennies "deedle-deets." No one could figure out why.

4. I took a year of Japanese in college. I can't remember much of it anymore, unfortunately. Don't get me wrong. I can excuse myself and greet someone. I can also inquire after their health. Oh. And I can ask where the fish market is. I took it because of how much I loved my year of East Asian History. Terrific professor. Hugh Walker.

5. If I had enough money, I'd pay to have my tattoos removed.

6. I still have a lower bonded retainer in my mouth from when I had my braces removed when I was 15. I keep meaning to call an orthodontist to have it removed, but I always forget.

7. My family's favorite number is 46. When they got a dog (or was it when my other brother was born?), they asked my oldest brother what they should name it. He said "Forty-six." He loved how it sounded. They named the dog Bruce instead.

Where I Come From

I am from the bow-bow chair, from Folgers, Lawry's seasoning salt and split pea soup with a side of buttered bread and Mister Rogers.

I am from the stucco house near downtown, the house on the hill, the house in the woods and the house at the end of the street with the misspelled sign. 

I am from the ancient lilac bush in front of grandma's house, the thick thorny blackberries that flourished under my youthful care until it bore fruit the size of my big toe.

I am from jigsaw puzzles in winter, saunas at sunset, well-deserved egos, from Tepsa and Martilla and Maki and Ylitalo.

I am from the tendency towards denial of negative situations, generosity of spirit, and singing in the car.

From toes are fishy food, daddy's gonna catch a weasel for breakfast, and very smart crows.

I am from evangelical Christianity and a chapter of Proverbs every day.

I'm from Wisconsin and the UP and Finland, Yooper pasties with rutabaga, squeaky cheese I still haven't tasted and "bannuguckwa" every week.

From my father's lumberjack years, my brother's panicked bike ride in the rain on Halloween, and the time my sister took off all her clothes on the neighbor's front porch.

I am from the sticky and stiff albums in my mom's living room, the boxes of treasures and homemade clothes, the elementary school report cards and pre-teen poetry, the princess dress I'm saving for Anna, and the picture of me my brother taped to his bunk bed.

You can do your own "Where I Come From" by following this template. No. I'm not creative enough to come up with this on my own, but didn't it turn out nicely? Happy Valentine's Day!

Cheryl By Fours

Momma Val tagged me for a meme! Yay!

Four Jobs I've Had

* Hotel desk clerk
* Nanny
* Cafeteria wench
* CNA in a nursing home

Four Places I've Lived

* Stevens Point, WI
* Milwaukee, WI
* Manitowish Waters, WI
* Here

Four Places I've Vacationed

* Colorado
* Germany
* Florida
* Bahamas

Four Of My Favorite Foods

* Oatmeal
* Fruit
* Spaghetti
* Fajitas

Four Things I Like To Do

* Play catch with Ben
* Read
* Play word games online
* Fiddle with graphic design

And I'll tag Candace of Mommy Matters! to do this meme... and anyone else who needs to some easy blog material. Just leave me a comment to let me know you are playing along!

Six Random Facts About Yours Truly

Daisy over at Compost Happens tagged me for a meme that requires me to reveal six random facts about me. Let's see how I do with this.
Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
   

Here I go!

• I shaved my legs for the first time when I was nine or ten behind the garage. I cut myself badly and had scars for at least a year.
  
• I love Wisconsin, but it's 15 degrees below zero right now, and I find that to be a bit excessive on the cold scale, don't you think? I will be spending the day with my little family all holed up in my little house staying warm and snug. Do you blame me? The "feels like" temperature is 31 below zero, so says weather.com.
  
• Someone complimented me on my clutter-free house last week, and I swooned with pleasure and pride. I never thought that would ever happen, and a year ago, it wouldn't have been an apt description for my house. Since I became a SAHM, I made it one of my priorities to keep a tidy house.
• I don't mind washing dishes. I suffered from bad headaches and menstrual cramps in high school, and some holistic health book of my mom's suggested that immersing one's hands in very warm water can relieve pain. I'm not in any pain now, but when I first slide my hands into the water, I still have a feeling of overall wellness and health. After three sinkfuls, though, I start to think dishwashing sucks, no matter how good I feel.
  
• I had a dream last night that I woke up to find an empty potato chip wrapper on Chris's chest. I examined the calorie content and then punched him really hard in the stomach for cheating his diet so badly. It felt so real, though I'm pretty sure I'm awake right now, and there's no wrapper in sight.
  
• When I'm hurriedly toweling myself dry in the towel room outside the showers at the Y, I do not want to be approached by a naked old lady and asked what my tattoos mean.
  

Oh, who should I tag? Call me a rule breaker... I'm not going to tag anyone specifically. Instead, if you want some easy blog material, do this meme and leave a comment letting me know you did it, and I'll add your link at the bottom. Okay?

Love/Hate Relationship

It's NaBloPoMo, and I haven't missed a day yet. I have to tell you. It's getting hard. I don't have a lot of daily contact with people other then Chris, Ben and Anna, so there's not a lot of bloggable material jumping out at me.

I'm going to fall back on a bit of a meme. Five things I love and five things I hate. You are free to use this post idea if you want.

LOVE

1. I love how connected I feel to Anna when she's nursing. Sure, there's a literal connection, but I have this overall sense that she's a part of me, an extension of me. It makes me feel a little bit guilty about not having that exact same sense with Ben, but I think we're bonded just as well, but differently.
2. I love having a cup of coffee in the morning. Black, no extras. This is an homage to something my mom always said. "Mommies don't have time for anything other than straight black coffee." So I've learned to like it black.
   
3. I love folding laundry. Seriously. It makes me happy, always has. I love making perfect piles of folded clothes and towels, especially towels.
   
4. I love a couple of new TV shows this season, namely Chuck and Pushing Daisies. I'm sure there are others I'd like, but I can't stay awake that late.
   
5. I love designing cards. I can get lost for hours on a single aspect of design. Today it was choosing the perfect background image for our Christmas card. I pulled two dozen images off the web, picked my favorite, and then spent a whole hour coming up with three ways of using the image. I could have been doing number three from my hate list instead.

HATE

1. I hate the sound of ice scrapers. This is an odd hate for someone who has been in a snowstorm every year of her life, but it's true. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me, which is another sound I hate.
2. I hate it when my parents burn unburnable items in their burning barrel at my grandma's farm. Stuff like styrofoam, plastic bags and milk jugs. Wow, it really upsets me. I've tried to get them to stop, but my parents pretty much believe that environmental concerns are pure fabrications of the wacko left wing liberals out there.
   
3. I really don't like picking up all the miscellaneous toys that we keep in Ben's toy box. One of his favorite games is to pick stuff out of there and toss it over his shoulder until he gets to an item that really captures his attention. I'm going to clean out the box soon and just leave the large items and toys he plays with a lot. It's just finding the time to sort through it when Ben's not around...
   
4. I hate it when Chris avoids taking out the full garbage bag and instead keeps trying to fill it more, but really just piles garbage on top of the already-full bag. He'll even open up a new garbage bag and start filling it... and he'll put it on top of the garbage can. Since I became a SAHM, this is something that since I can't live with, I get to take care of. I can't just avoid the kitchen until I nag Chris enough to take out the garbage. I have to be in the kitchen. Grr.
5. I hate emptying out leftovers from containers in the fridge. I'm with you on this one, Dana. I've wasted a lot of money on new tupperware and other plastic containers because I've put off cleaning out the fridge and ended up tossing the nicely sealed boxes and bowls so I don't have to smell them.

In other news, the powercord for my laptop is failing. The cord is twisted and frayed by the laptop end, and on the other end, it makes a sizzle sound when the box gets nudged. Not really a good thing for fire safety. I ordered a replacement today that should be here tomorrow, and I'm going to try to keep the current one together with electrical tape for today. I can't bear the thought of life without my laptop. Oh man. It's an awful thought. Based on reviews for other products, it seems that Apple didn't design a very reliable 65W AC adapter (the one that comes standard with the laptop). My problem is quite common. I've seen the newer models, and they aren't that different, so they haven't really done much to improve it. Too busy working on the iPhone, I expect. Okay. My Apple rant is over.

Me and Mine Meme 100 for the 200

Nordette from BlogHer is trying to get back into the bloggy swing of things by interviewing 100 (you heard right) mommy or daddybloggers by the end of the year. I think she should interview me. :) She wants us to do the following meme so she can decide who to interview:

1.) State the name of your blog, your real name or your online name, and link to your "about me" page.
My blog is entitled Red Pens & Diapers. My name is Cheryl Mathis (my online name is mammacheryl), and you can find my "about me" page here.

2.) Say you want to be profiled on BlogHer as a family blogger and link back to this post.
Dude. I want to be profiled on BlogHer as a family blogger.

3.) Tell how long you've been blogging.
I've been blogging since October 2006. This is actually my 200th post. Woot!


4.) Pass this meme on to three other bloggers that you think should be profiled/interviewed.
I think Dana, Candace and Daisy should be profiled as well.

Interview With a Cheryl

Questions Provided By: Candace and Anna.

The way it works: She was interviewed by someone whose blog she reads. I read her blog every day, and I volunteered to let her interview me. Here are the questions she asked and my answers. If you want to volunteer to answer five itty-bitty questions, just leave a comment or send me an email. I love getting to know people, and it'll give me some use of my almost-received journalism degree.


1) I know you aren't overly fond of holidays. Tell me what you want Ben and Anna to remember about Christmas or Thanksgiving.

You're right. The holidays don't really mean much to me. I've never really gotten into the whole decorating and preparation thing. As a matter of fact, I usually forget to shop for gifts. Maybe my SAHM status will change my feelings about it (not this year, maybe next); we'll see. Regardless of whether or not I ever make wreaths or create a paper turkey centerpiece, I know already what I want Ben and Anna to remember about the holidays. Family. I'm blessed that all of my brothers and sisters live in the same state. As adults, we still try to get to my parents' house for the holidays, though sometimes we miss each other by a few hours.

For the longest time, the only children in the family were my nephews who are now 14 and 7. Two nieces were added by marriage, now ages 13 and 8. Then my sister and I got married and started families. Then my sister-in-law announced a third pregnancy. By Christmas 2008, there will be at least four children under the age of three gathered at my parents' house, creating chaos, joy and lovely memories. We have a large extended family that is totally wrapped up in our children, celebrating all the precious moments, exciting developments, etc. I want Ben and Anna to remember how focused we all were on the children in our lives.

2) What is the most sentimental thing you have in your home? Tell us about it.

This was the hardest question for me. Since college, I've worked very hard at editing my possessions. Maybe I watched too much "Clean House." I don't have a lot of keepsakes lying around. I have a few sentimental items, though I don't know which is the most sentimental and none of them are important enough to me to carry out with me if the house was on fire. I'd grab my children and their most loved things, not mine. I think this lack of sentimentality relates to my apathy for the holidays.

The sentimental items that I have include a framed cross-stitch that Chris's Grandpa Garrett made for us to commemorate our marriage. He finished it about a week before our wedding. Another is a painting of a lighthouse that his Grandma Dixie painted and gave to us as a present. Then there is the framed collage of our first year of marriage. It includes our wedding announcement, a picture of Chris kissing my cheek at our reception, pictures we had taken three weeks before Ben was born, one of which has Chris hugging my hugely pregnant belly, and our first family picture taken at the hospital with Ben all swaddled and wrinkly and cute.

Beyond those, there are some items I've kept from my years as a single girl. A wooden statue of a yogi in melancholic contemplation. The first carving I ever had really strong feelings for. He looked so sad in that pose, I knew I had to take him home with me and keep him safe while he sorted through his despair. It doesn't take a psychologist to realize that I transferred my own feelings onto the statue. For what it's worth, he's in a box in the attic right now. I also have half a dozen 5x7 framed prints of lovely fine art scenes. Lots of soft, subtle colors and happy images. I plan on hanging those on Anna's side of the room. I selected each print carefully because it reminded me of something from my childhood or something from a favorite book.

3) Nursing was a HUGE part of my relationship with my Anna. What is your favorite part of nursing? I know it is early to ask this question but I am assuming you nursed Ben as well. I am proud of you for your determination to keep trying with Anna!

My mom nursed me exclusively for the first year. She always told me that nursing her children was the most precious part of being a mother. She still recalls fondly the soft caresses of tiny little hands lovingly petting her bare skin. Naturally, the concept appealed to me.

With Ben, I expected to nurse him. Of course I also expected to go to full term with him. I didn't, and Ben struggled to go to breast. He latched on a few times, our lactation consultant approved the latch, and his pediatrician discharged him from the hospital at the normal time, not the standard 4-5 day minimum they now have for all babies who spend any time in the NICU. When we got home, we spent a frustrating two days trying to get him to breast again. He didn't. All he wanted to do was sleep. At our two-day follow-up at his pediatrician's office, we were quickly sent back to the NICU to be re-admitted. He had lost too much weight, was severely jaundiced and had the awful label of "failure to thrive." With a lot of tears, my life as a pumper began, and we made the decision to pump exclusively and give up trying to get him to breast.

With Anna, I wasn't going to just automatically start pumping without trying really hard to nurse. Part of it was remembering the words of my mother who still glows when she talks about how wonderful nursing was, part of it was that I knew how terribly hard it would be to pump all the time with a newborn and a toddler to take care of by myself. Imagine then, my utter joy when I not only got Anna to latch, but got her to nurse for ten or fifteen minutes at a time. We've had a few setbacks since she got home, but she'll go to breast at least four or five times a day. I'm loving it. I'm loving the close contact. I love how her eyes cross when she concentrates on a point right in front of her nose.

I'm not forcing the issue with her. When she's hungry, I offer her a choice of positions at each breast, but if she doesn't latch, we give her the bottle. It's getting to the point now where she'll usually go to breast at least fifty percent of the time. I only need to pump twice a day to make enough milk for all of her supplement bottles. Yay us!

4) Is it true? Does your love just grow and expand to make room for the second one?

This was something I thought about when we were thinking about another child and even more when we were expecting. Ben is my sunshine, he's my favorite part of life, he's a constant source of delight and wonder and bliss. How on earth could I feel that strongly for another baby? I didn't worry a lot about it. I just figured I'd deal with whatever happens when it happened.

When Anna was born, I was immediately filled with overwhelming tenderness and concern. Did I love her the same way as I love Ben? No. It's different. A lot of my feelings for Ben involve our history together, how we've bonded over the months, the love and laughter we've shared, etc. It's not just instinctual mother love. I love Anna, and I'm falling more in love with her every day. The place where Anna is in my heart is separate from Ben, so she's not replacing him or crowding him out, and my love for Ben is not constricting my ability to love Anna.

By the way, Candace, you're right about postpartum depression affecting the bonding process. When I had that meltdown a few days postpartum, I was ready to leave. Just pack up my stuff and get the heck out of town. I wanted to leave Chris, Ben and Anna and just go away and not ever have to be a mother or a wife again. It just shows you how much depression can overtake any feelings of love and commitment. My hormones are balanced better now, and I'm back to my usual self for the most part.

5) What is your dream vacation (family or couple)? Where would you go and what would you be sure to do?

In reality, any vacations we take as a family "need" to be to visit Chris's family since they live so far away and have only seen Ben once. We're going in February. In my head, I know exactly what I'd rather do.

Before I became a proofreader, I was a nanny for a lovely family in town. They weren't filthy rich, but comfortably well off and with some family money. Their extended family owns a villa in the Bahamas. They let me and a friend use the villa for a week several years back. It was lovely. Absolutely wonderful. It's a very quiet location, not very public and touristy. Perfect for children. That's where I'd go with my family. We'd wake up in the mornings and cook pancakes. Then we'd go for a walk on the beach and build sandcastles.

The End.

Wordy Meme, Baby Drama

AmandaD did this meme on her blog http://lifewithbriar.blogspot.com. I wanted to write a post today, but I didn't know how to start it without being pathetic. So this works. Feel free to use the meme for yourself. It's a nice exercise. The point is to only use one word answers. I cheated a couple of times by making up words or hyphenating. Forgive me.

1. Where is your cell phone? Toybox.
2. Relationship? Tender.
3. Your hair? Uninspiring.
4. Work? Bland.
5. Your sister? Stubborn.
6. Your favorite thing? Mommyhood.
7. Your dream last night? Unknown.
8. Your favorite drink? Water.
9. Your dream car? Organized.
10. The room you're in? Cubicle.
11. Your shoes? Flops.
12. Your fears? Anna-gone.
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? Happy.
14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? Boys.
15. What are you not good at? Pancakes.
16. Muffin? Tops.
17. One of your wish list items? Comfort.
18. Where you grew up? Woods.
19. Last thing you did? Peed.
20. What are you wearing? Support.
21. What aren't you wearing? Style.
22. Your pet? Available.
23. Your computer? Borrowed.
24. Your life? Changing.
25. Your mood? Worried.
26. Missing? Calm.
27. What are you thinking about right now? Eleven-thirty.
28. Your car? Stinky.
29. Your kitchen? Stinkier.
30. Your summer? Watery.
31. Your favorite color? Benskin.
32. Last time you laughed? Gossip.
33. Last time you cried? Car.
34. School? Uninterested.
35. Love? Yup.

I'd like to think I'm not a whiny, drama-packed person. I'd like to be calm and stable. Everytime I get upset about something, I try to step back and make a decision about whether or not it's worth being upset. Sometimes, I'm able to stop the drama there. Other times, I'm swept away. When I get ready to journal/blog, I pick and choose what I want on there. What do I want out on the web that represents my life right now? So I share some of the drama because excluding it all wouldn't be real, wouldn't be honest. And for the most part, the drama-less times of my life are hard to blog about because there's only so many ways I can describe the magic of Ben's smile or the pure, unadulterated joy of Benji Bath Time.

From my meme, though, you can probably figure out that life isn't very happy right now. And it's not. It's full of worry and anxiety and fear and pain.

Wednesday afternoon, I started getting BH contractions more than once an hour, lasting for about ten minutes each, radiating to different parts of my torso. Being a responsible pregnant lady, I logged them all, trying to identify what I was feeling and where. By the end of the day, I had put a folded blanket on my seat to cushion my heiny because it kept going numb and was very sore.

Thursday is when the fun started. Early on in the morning, I did a few undie-checks to make sure I wasn't bleeding. I had felt some "dribbling" but I didn't think it was pee. I chalked it up to girlie moisture and went on with my day. Shortly after lunch, my pelvic region started aching and I felt lots of sharp, stabbing pains in my groin area that spread down my thighs and back again. By three, when I finally called my doctor's office, it felt EXACTLY like it had right after I gave birth. Basically like I had slammed my crotch into a brick wall at 80 mph. Walking was agony, but so was sitting.

My doctor wasn't in and couldn't be reached, though they tried since she doesn't like to pass off her OB patients to the on-call doctor. They finally assigned me someone at 4, and the nurse called me back. At first she figured it was just round ligament pain, but when I described the pain as something I felt right after birth, she and the on-call doc got worried. So I was told to go home and be on bedrest for the rest of the night and to see my doctor the next day.

I cried a lot. I was worried and anxious and scared. By bedtime, the couple hours I had spent horizontal had helped and I wasn't limping anymore. I was tender, but not nearly as pain-wrecked. By morning, I was fine. I'm stiff and awkward, but I'm not in a lot of pain. I get twinges of it every once in a while, but I'm okay. I see my doctor at eleven-thirty this morning. So I'm here at work, playing online, proofing what I can reach, and keeping my feet up and my back relaxed.

Worst case scenario? Pre-term labor which isn't even called pre-term labor until I hit 20 weeks on Monday. Losing my precious baby girl would just be called a miscarriage, which makes it feel less significant, and I hate that.

Probable scenario? SPD or the separation of my pelvic bones. Caused by relaxin. They can't do much for it besides physical therapy and pain medication, and it might make a vaginal birth difficult. I had relaxin issues with Ben. By my seventh month, my wrists had loosened so much that they kept dislocating while I slept. I had to sleep with wrist bands on to keep them in place.

What I don't want to hear? That it's normal and I'm overreacting.

So I'm waiting and monitoring. Feeling okay this morning is reassuring, but now I feel like I maybe hallucinated yesterday.

The rest of my non-baby drama? My brother and his wife are at an impasse with my sister and her husband. They had a fight a couple weeks ago, and though both parties have officially apologized, the grudges remain, and they haven't resumed their usual, day-to-day relationship. I don't really care, but it upsets my mom, and that makes me upset. I get to ignore it and only have to be involved when my mom calls to vent. We are a VERY stubborn family, and we've perfected the fine art of grudge-holding. It's a talent that is passed down through the generations. Seriously. My mom isn't speaking to her siblings either. Since the current argument was over something not incredibly important or vital, eventually the affected parties will decide to move on and exist in denial that the rift ever occurred. The relationship will be stilted for a while, but that's how we roll.

I'll post again this afternoon to give a quick update on what my doctor said at the appointment.

Update: My doctor suspects I'm producing too much relaxin, the pregnancy hormone that relaxes the ligaments to prepare the body for birth. It's causing my pelvis to separate early and more than necessary. There's nothing that can be done. Just tylenol and rest when the pain starts. Good news is that it probably won't cause pre-term labor, which is good, since Baby Anna is 6 weeks away from being a NICU candidate. So I'll be relaxing a lot this weekend and trying not to stress out my hips. Wish me luck.

Another Meme plus Life Update

A meme I found on Allie's blog (http://curvatude.blogspot.com). I'm not tagging anyone for it because I don't want to annoy the crap out of people. I've included an update on my personal life at the bottom.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was 16. Yikes. I was getting ready to pass my driver's test. I was dating... someone. I think it was my ex-boyfriend who I kept going back to at least once a year. He was getting ready to graduate high school. I was being young and insane... although that was the summer that I went to the local tech school to get my nursing assistant certification, making me the youngest person to ever graduate from the program. I was really good at that job. While I was going to school, I was working at a local 3-in-1 fast food restaurant that had a pizza parlor, sub shop, and frozen custard counter. Ah, the memories.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
A year ago today I was being a new mommy to a small baby named Ben. He was five months old and very charming. I don't think we did anything special for Memorial Day weekend, although we may have driven up north to see my parents.

Five snacks you enjoy
1. Cheddar cheese chunks
2. Apples/oranges/bananas
3. Soft pretzels with nacho cheese
4. Ritz crackers
5. Chewy granola bars

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to
1. Elmo by Holly McNarland
2. The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice
3. London Rain by Heather Nova
4. Brighter Than Sunshine by Aqualung
5. Hold On by Sarah McLachlan

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire
1. Pay off ALL of our debt, including the mortgage
2. Pay off my siblings' mortgages
3. Set aside a trust fund for the kids
4. Invest, invest, invest
5. Go on a couple of vacations

Five bad habits
1. Picking my nose in private
2. Picking at the dry skin on my lips
3. Picking at my face while I'm falling asleep (can you see the trend?)
4. Swearing at work
5. Not caring if the car is a pig pen

Five things you like doing
1. Tickling Ben
2. Cuddling with my husband
3. Gardening
4. Singing along to music in the car but only in goofy voices
5. Painting pottery

Five things you would never wear again
1. Shorts (it's a vanity thing)
2. Crocs
3. Really high heels (my husband is a quarter inch taller than me)
4. Sequins
5. Hemp necklaces

Five favorite toys
1. Laptop
2. Sandcastle equipment
3. Canoes and rowboats
4. TV remote
5. Ben is the best toy there is.

Personal Update: I had a baby checkup on Tuesday. My doctor, bless her, still couldn't get a reading on the heartbeat. Sure, that's not great, but the official party line is that we're not worried since I've felt the baby kick. Of course that just makes me freak out and think that maybe I didn't feel the baby kick after all. But anyway. I have another appointment near the end of June when I'll be 18 weeks and really showing, and we'll be scheduling the anatomy ultrasound at that appointment.

I really didn't want to go out of town this weekend. I hate traveling when I know the roads are going to be packed. Makes me feel like a lemming. But my dad called last night to talk to Chester. Dad had taken out the cable modem to replace it, and he couldn't get it back together again. Go figure. I have no idea why he tried to do it himself. Now we're driving up to Minocqua tomorrow to see my parents and fix the computer so my mom can get back online again. She's housebound because of her knee (replaced about a month ago). She can't drive or walk anywhere without a cane. She hasn't seen Ben in a month, so that will be nice. I'm just not looking forward to the hour and fifteen minute drive it takes to get there, which will probably take about two hours because of the traffic.

Have a fantastic weekend everybody! I don't know if I'll post again until I get back to work on Tuesday. We'll have to see.

Eight Random Facts, A Meme

Eight random facts about me? Thanks, Mary Tsao at momwrites.blogspot.com, for tagging me. Really. Thanks a lot. :)

1. I don't really like chocolate all that much. I know it makes me different from a lot of women, but I really only get chocolate cravings a few times a year.
2. I forget to prompt Ben to brush his teeth every night. It's a problem, but I'm just glad he hasn't suffered from horrible bad breath yet. We are in the process of putting up reminder signs around the house. This means that we've talked about putting up signs, but we haven't gotten around to it yet.
3. Lilacs are my favorite part of living in Wausau, WI. They're all over the city, and I love this time of year when they bloom. I find the smell to be heavenly, and I think the precious little petals are adorable.
4. I have hairy toes, and I don't like shaving them.
5. I once broke up with a guy because his penis was too small. The reason that I told him? He was too shallow. The irony is obvious.
6. My most debilitating phobia is getting the mail. This is especially true when our bank account is, shall we say, lacking. I have gone for almost two weeks, letting it pile up in there. But that's not fair to the mail carrier who has to figure out creative ways of stuffing more in there. So I try to tell myself that I can just remove the mail without looking at it, place it on a table somewhere and ignore it until I feel strong enough to go through it. It's kind of silly now that the majority of our bills are up-to-date. We only have two outstanding accounts, and they are more likely to call me than send me another notice. It comes from years of living under a huge pile of huge debt with very little income. I feel guilty receiving bills for services rendered/products provided and knowing that I can't pay them immediately in full. I've tried to pass the chore off to my husband, but he frequently forgets, and I have to remind him, which is something I avoid doing because it's almost as bad as having to get it myself.
7. I totaled a car when I was 16 because I blacked out. I was under a lot of stress psychologically, and my medication hadn't quite kicked in yet. I simply drove off the road, going about 25 mph, and ran right into a tree. My parents were out of town, and I was using my mother's car. My new kitten, Adira, was in the car with me. She was quite the hit at the ER. While I was waiting for emergency vehicles, I paced back and forth on the road on two dislocated knees. For the record, that's a bad idea. I received a ticket for inattentive driving, but I never told my psychiatrist or my doctor what really happened. I lied and said I was attending to my kitten, who wasn't in her car carrier at the time.
8. I hate nail polish. Passionately.

Eight people to tag? This is impossible for me since I know a lot of the people on Mary's 8. Too much overlap. So I'll double tag some people. And my linky thing doesn't work for some crazy-ass reason, so I've included the address after the name.

Lisa at Midwestern Mommy http://mylifeasacliche.blogspot.com/
Allie at Curves with Attitude http://www.curvatude.blogspot.com/
Mothergoosemouse http://www.mothergoosemouse.com/
Amandad at Tumble Dry http://lifewithbriar.blogspot.com/
Wisconsin Mommy http://wisconsinmommy.blogspot.com/
Daisy at Compost Happens http://compostermom.blogspot.com/
Dana of The Dana Files http://thedanafiles.com/
A Mom's Life http://candacej73.blogspot.com/

Real Moms Don't Get Colds. Yeah Right. + Meme

This week is supposed to be a breeze. Chester and I are off on Thursday and Friday to work on our bathroom renovation. I got a cold yesterday, and I'm so very stuffed up. And, since I'm pregnant, I can't take anything but Benadryl. Not a good idea to take while at work.

We had some surprise guests yesterday. My mom, my dad, both of my brothers, one sister-in-law, one niece, and two nephews. Ben was appropriately perky and affectionate for everybody, even if he desperately wanted a nap and passed out right after they left.

Cute Ben Thing:

We had about twenty minutes warning for the surprise guests. Chester ran out to buy us lunch, and I stayed home with Ben to clean. I was making some home-made potpourri on the stove, and I saw Ben come into the kitchen with a baby wipe box that only had a couple left. He pulled one out, squatted, and started to wipe the floor with it. Of course I found that adorable. Little Ben is helping Mamma clean. After about two minutes, he was still at it, so I went to praise his behavior. That's when I noticed there was actually something on the floor that he was trying to wipe up.

Slight back story: about an hour earlier, Ben had found a bottle of milk from the night before. He got a few chugs from it before I took it away and replaced it with a fresh sippy cup.

So Ben had vomited the spoiled milk on the kitchen floor, and he got his baby wipes, and he was cleaning up the mess himself.

How precious is that?

--Last night I made the decision that I need to go back on Zoloft. Chester and I had fought, but instead of getting over it and moving on, I got really depressed and nearly suicidal. So it's probably best if I go back on the pretty blue pills. Oh well. It's been 3 weeks since I went off of them. BTW, I'm feeling better emotionally this morning. Still a little blue, but nothing like last night. Could barely speak around bedtime last night. Just laid there and cried. --

Another Cute Ben Thing:

With the pending arrival of a new bundle of joy, we've been talking about moving Ben into a big boy bed at the tender age of 14.5 months. The time for the transition came naturally. We had brought down the twin bed that was in Ben's room and put it in the dining room for my mother's overnight last week. (She is getting a full knee replacement in April and is in a lot of pain until then). Now that her visit is over, the bed needs to leave the dining room. We decided to just haul up the mattress, and put the boxspring and frame into storage in the basement.

So we did. Immediately, Ben started climbing all over it. He'd lay his head on the pillow and pretend to sleep. Absolutely went crazy over it. So at bedtime, Chester cuddled near him, and Ben actually fell asleep on the big boy bed. Chester put him in his crib for the night, though. We need to buy a side rail to help keep Ben from rolling off in the middle of the night.

It was a victory for a war we didn't even have to wage.

A Quick Meme (tagged by Dana)

Real Moms...

Real moms are able to find impromptu toys for toddlers in unlikely places. Be it restaurants, doctor's offices, post offices. I think it's something that gets wired into our brains when we're in our third trimester. We have to do so many odd things to get comfortable, to find some relief, we start to think outside the box. We know that even though the nice waitress offers crayons and coloring books, we're better off with spoons and straws.

Real moms think that baby hugs are better than heroin or other illicit drugs. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a hard drug user. But getting a good, hard cuddle from my baby boy is better than any therapy or pleasure-giving drug I could get my pudgy hands on. I'll even allow cuddles when he first gets up in the morning and his pants are soaked. Sure, I end up walking downstairs in my underwear with him (because I couldn't stand my jammies being wet), but my husband understands.

Real moms know that sometimes, the kid will not look spotless. Yes, I try to make sure that my son doesn't have an upper lip and nostrils caked in dried snot. But when it comes to my son having a meltdown OR just leaving his nose alone for a trip to the grocery store, I might just let it go.

Real moms truly appreciate the assistance of a good daddy (when there's one in the family picture). Yes, I have aspirations of being Super Mom, but I'm not. And I don't really have to be, because I've got a great partner by my side to step in when I just can't take it anymore. I don't brag about how well I deal with my son without giving my husband his due. I can be Super Mom when I want, but I also get to take naps on Saturday mornings after breakfast. It makes me a better Mamma.

Friday "Everything's Pissing Me Off Today" Meme

MOST HATED...

FRUIT: Papaya
CANDY: Carmellos
BEVERAGE: Tomato Juice
COLOR: (How can somebody hate a color?) Hmmm. Cotton Candy Pink. As a side note, in college, I painted my bedroom Cotton Candy Pink and Bright Red. It was an interesting year.
TV SHOW: I run screaming from Wife Swap or similar-themed shows.
MOVIE: Dawn of the Dead
ANIMAL: Not a big fan of pit bulls. I live across the street from a breeder.
INSECT: Mosquitos.
BIRD: Who hates birds? I mean, really? Come on. Let's say Pelicans. Don't ask why.
SEASON: Summer. I can't tolerate hot, steamy weather.
AGE OF KIDS: I've met some really bratty six year olds.

...WHAT ANNOYS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING WHEN...

DRIVING?: Definitely not using turn signals. My husband slows down to turn into a parking lot, but waits until the last moment to turn on his blinker. It drives me batty.

TALKING ON THE PHONE?: Can this be about other people talking on the phone? 1. Too-loud ringers. 2. Someone talking on the cell phone while in the public bathroom. I start flushing non-stop just to piss them off.

WATCHING TV OR MOVIES: Commercials. Gawd, they suck hard.

EATING IN RESTAURANTS: People who glare at my son because he's making a lot of noise. Why can't some people just relax and enjoy the innocent laughter and frivolity of toddlers? No one else gets that excited from stacking jelly packets.

GOING THROUGH DRIVE-THRUS: Mixing up my order. Taco Bell gave us the totally wrong bag yesterday... And since their stuff isn't tightly wrapped, I was really annoyed that I looked through a bag of tacos and was touching food intended for someone else. Where the hell was my quesadilla? Then they had to remake our order which took another five minutes. It was revolting. And did they give us a free cinnamon twists to assuage our anguish? No. They just said "Sorry." I have it on good authority (husband) that cinnamon twists are ridiculously cheap and easy to make. Take spiral macaroni pasta, uncooked, throw it in a deep fat fryer. Watch it sizzle and then expand. Shake it dry. Dust it with cinnamon and sugar. Done. Would that have been too painful to let us have a free pouch?

YOU'RE AT THE MALL: Um. I don't go to the mall because they piss me off so much. Is it wrong that I only shop at places with stuff on clearance? Seriously. The last time I was at the mall was for a Coworker Group playdate. If I was at a mall, I would be annoyed by people who eat while shopping. I once saw a lady munching on doritos and then using that same hand to paw through stacks of clothes. Everything was covered in cheese dust. Ick.

SLEEPING (OR TRYING TO SLEEP): As much as I appreciate my husband doing the dishes, we have a small house, and when he does the dishes after I get into bed, it sounds like he's banging glasses and pots together just to make noise. Kind of like the time I had Ben start playing with the pots and pans when Chester was sleeping in too late one Saturday. It sucks.

SHOWERING: I like hot showers. That is why I've insisted that my dear husband take his showers in the evenings so I can all of our hot water to myself. This was never a problem in our old apartment, but we have an electric water heater now, and it's true... those take forever to heat.

YOU'RE AT THE BEACH: Teenagers making out in the water when I'm trying to have wholesome playtime with my son, just yards away from the shallow end. Get a room, and keep your fluids inside, please.

YOU'RE AT THE GROCERY STORE: People who are in a huge hurry and cut me off, or just have a really pissy look on their faces. They suck. I smile at them while showing as many teeth as possible.

YOU'RE ON A DATE: The other person just sits there like a freaking lump on a really boring log. Won't give anything but one or two word answers to my questions. I get it that they're shy and I can have a really BIG personality sometimes, but come on. You're on a date to meet new people, start a relationship. Open up a little, damn it.

COOKING OR BAKING: Getting midway through preparations and cooking before I realize I'm missing a vital ingredient like eggs, milk, meat or wondra flour.

WHAT HOUSEHOLD CHORE DO YOU HATE THE MOST?: Kitty litter box. Hands down. The winner.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE WORST WAY TO DIE? Lung cancer. It's too slow and painful and distressing.

WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING HABIT IN OTHERS?: Whining. Life is what you make of it, and that includes work. I get disgruntled fairly often, but I still am able to find things I like about my job.

WHAT IS YOUR WORST HABIT?: Nose picking. Not in public. That's just gross. But even the private habits are worth a bit of shame.

WHAT FASHION TREND (PAST OR PRESENT)? Odd colors and applications of eye shadow. Bright blue or green eye liner. Leggings on girls who aren't built for them. Brown lip liner. But most of all, those damn curling-iron bangs. I was guilty of this in the nineties, but my sister was one of the major offenders. She did the curling iron bangs WITH hairspray that made them stand straight up and curl back. My sister-in-law still wears her hair like that. She also still gets perms.

WHAT POPULAR SONG (PAST OR PRESENT)? Pretty much anything from the seventies and eighties. That whole Retro Lunch thing on our local pop station? Yeah. Not for me. I'd rather listen to Rush Limbaugh.

WORST THING ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL: Hormones. Holy crap those things got me into a bunch of trouble. School would be much easier to deal with if there wasn't this whole DRAMA thing going on in your head.

MOST IRRITATING THING ABOUT YOUR CAR: I decided this morning that there are two kinds of people. Those who keep their cars clean like it's a rental and those who treat it like their bedroom closets. Sure, you have to have a place to put things, but crap tends to gather up in the corners. We are the latter. And it upsets me sometimes that I seem unable to keep our car neat and tidy.

TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT FEMALES? Oh, that's easy. Women who feel the need to bash guys all the time. I'm not a man-hater and I don't blame them for all the problems that women have. Take some responsibility for your own moods and actions, ladies.

TO BE COMPLETELY STEREOTYPICAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MOST ANNOYING THING ABOUT MALES? My husband feels that he knows everything about home improvement. His cockiness has caused a lot of broken things in our home. So something, like a faucet, doesn't get fixed... it now needs to be replaced. It's a Tim-the-tool-man-Taylor thing. Growl.

One of These Days... + Meme

One of these days, I'll get around to having a perfectly picked up house. The dishes won't stay in the sink more than two days. Laundry will be folded and put away the same day that it is washed and dried. I will scrub out the toilet more than twice a month. One of these days.

I grew up in a very cluttered house. Other than being Super SAHM, my mother didn't have an organization bone in her body. Piles of clutter. Baskets of clutter. All drawers were junk drawers. Since the kids moved away, her house has become pretty clean. She still has her areas (like kitchen counters), but for the most part, her house is fine. You'd think I'd revolt against my childhood by becoming the opposite. A neat freak. Well, I go through spurts of that, but for the most part, I'm somewhere in the middle. What's nice is that the clutter I let gather around is just daily stuff, not stuff that should be in storage. So if I need to have a presentable house in 15 minutes, no problem. I can do that. I'm the queen of the 15-minute pickup.

For now, I'll keep being me, and keep spending time with my darling toddler boy. I keep blinking, and he keeps growing up.

Five Things You Didn't Know About Me

1. My right knee is all banged up with scars from when I flew off of our moped when I was nine. I was driving on gravel, and I lost control, and I ended up about five feet in front of the moped. My knee was gushing blood, but I refused to get stitches, so my mother had a friend talk her through how to do a butterfly bandage. The resulting scar is unsightly, but really. I had getting stitches. I think they're barbaric.

2. I have a little bitty scar on my second toe on my left foot. When I was a toddler (about 20 months) I got my leg caught up in the spokes of my mom's bike when I was riding on the back. Miracle, the only thing that got hurt was my toe, which was split open.

3. When I yawn, it usually involves a lot of arm flailing and loud squeals. Like my expressive sneezes (which are anything but ladylike), my yawns are intense. While my body gapes open at the mouth to draw in extra oxygen, I end up pounding on a nearby surface with my fists and shaking my head from side to side. And the sound? It varies. Usually some time of squeal. And I always have to explain afterwards that it was only a yawn. Wish I could fix that.

4. I like doing the dishes. I think this started when Ben was a baby and we were having to wash bottles every day. It was a little break from tending to the screaming newborn. Now, I enjoy it because I get to listen to whatever book on tape is currently in my stereo... and I like the suds. And the warm water is soothing in the winter. I don't take baths (I'm a shower girl), but I still like immersing my hands in very warm water. It's relaxing.

5. I don't have very good sense when it comes to certain math issues. You know those mathematical problems that start "A train left Boston at 2:24 pm and traveled an average of 42 mph, and a donkey left Santa Fe at 1 am, and had oats for breakfast. What time did Elvis go potty?" I can't do them. I can understand each half of the problem, but I can't join them together to see how the two halves affect each other. I always aced my math classes in high school and college, but never got one of those questions correct.

Ten Things I Learned in 2006 Meme

1. Being a mother is more wonderful than I imagined.
2. It is not impossible to qualify for a mortgage if you have bad credit, it just takes more effort and determination.
3. Procto-foam is a wonderful product.
4. Opening up about the past is difficult, but immensely cathartic.
5. Cooking your mother's recipes is a soothing way to spend an evening.
6. Peekaboo is one of the greatest games on the planet.
7. Nothing is quite as thrilling as watching your child reach another developmental milestone.
8. Sometimes babies are stillborn, sometimes miscarriages happen, and that's infinitely sad.
9. My husband is a wonderful father and a fantastic helpmate.
10. Don't hold an infant over your head when your mouth is open. They will spit up at that moment.

Another Day, Another Meme

Things You May Not Know About Me:

1. I'm absolutely amazing at Scrabble and Trivial Pursuit. Seriously. I don't even bother playing with people anymore. The only way it was fair was to be me against three or four people. And even then, people were annoyed. Yes, I have a big head about this, but it's only because it's been proven to me time and time again.
2. I have three tattoos that I wouldn't mind having removed. They were great ideas at the time, but I'm kind of over it now.
3. I have over forty scars on my left arm from when I was a cutter in high school. Don't worry, I'm way past that... but the scars, though faded, still remain. I don't know how I'll explain them to my children when they're old enough to wonder.
4. I peel the dry skin off of my lips while I'm sleeping. My lips are usually red and sometimes bloody when I wake up. I've tried lots of different things, but it's a nervous habit that won't seem to go away. No, it's not attractive.

Things I want to do before I die (in random order):

1. See my grandchildren get married.
2. Read the list of "interesting books" I compiled earlier this year. It's huge.
3. Spend a month in the countryside of rural England.
4. Go on a cruise.
5. Learn how to knit and sew well.

Things I cannot do:

1. Whistle.
2. Play Chess.
3. Play Pinochle.
4. Booty Dance.
5. Watch professional wrestling.

Things I can do:

1. Count to ten in Finnish.
2. Make an awesome Finnish pancake.
3. Write.
4. Design fabulous documents.
5. Give birth to a baby.

Things I love about my Husband:

1. His tender heart.
2. His capability to nurture.
3. His patience with my eccentricities and anal-retentiveness.
4. His devotion to our son.

Things I say most often:

1. Have a good time.
2. Bite it.
3. On purpose?
4. I love you, Ben.

Movies I love:

1. Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House
2. Bringing Up Baby
3. Paris When It Sizzles
4. Desk Set

Christmas Meme

Pilfered from Mom-o-matic.

Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Hot chocolate by default. I've never tried egg nog, and I'm terrified of new things.

Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Wrapped, of course. It's my favorite part of the gift process, the wrapping.

Colored lights on tree/house or white?
I prefer the simplicity and clean look of white lights, although my parents' tree always had colored lights.

Do you hang mistletoe?
No. We do enough kissing on our own. Still honeymooning. And besides, we almost never have visitors. Impinges on our kissing time.

When do you put your decorations up?
Hah. Well, since moving out of my parents' house when I was 18, I don't decorate for Christmas. I imagine I'll start next year when Ben's old enough not to put everything in his mouth. Then I'll put up the decorations after Halloween.

What is your favorite holiday dish?
The mashed potatoes, I guess. Love the starchy stuff.

Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
The temperature game my father would play on Christmas Eve. As a tradition, we opened all of our presents on Christmas Eve after we got back from church. My dad liked to torture us, so he'd make us wait until the temperature dropped six degrees. We'd be calling the local time/temperature automated system every thirty seconds. It was a control game, but we thought it was fun.

When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
My mother is a devout pentecostal Christian. Therefore, no child of hers will participate in the tomfoolery and sacrilege that is the secular Christmas. I never believed in Santa. Gifts came from parents and friends.

How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
My parents' tree was always fake since my dad is allergic to conifers. We'd start with a base of twinkle lights, add on some garland or beads, and then layer on the ornaments, both the glass store-bought ones and the home-made ones that the kids created over the years. My tree with my own family will also be fake with white lights, beads and ribbons.

Snow. Love it or Dread it ??
Absolutely love it. So crisp and clean and twinkly. I love early morning after a snow fall, and the sun is hitting the snow just right and everything sparkles like diamonds. I don't even mind shoveling. It's like a meditation.

Can you ice skate?
Yes, but not comfortably. I don't think fat girls were meant to skate across an expanse of ice on two tiny steel blades. Makes my ankles hurt just thinking about it.

Do you remember your favorite gift?
Probably my Cabbage Patch doll. We were po' when I was a little kid, and as a rule, none of my toys were new. I didn't really notice, but I really really wanted a Cabbage Patch doll, and they were too new to be able to find second-hand yet. But I got a precious little doll with red yarn hair. Mom even made a cheerleading outfit for her in my brothers' high school colors.

What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Getting together with family. We never manage to get around to it otherwise.

What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Mom's apple pie. I can never get the crust right.

Which do you prefer giving or receiving?
Giving. I very much dislike receiving because I find it embarrassing. Since we're hard up for spending money, though, giving is kind of embarrassing too. I wish store-bought gifts could be outlawed for this year. I feel bad giving my siblings tins of home-made cookies when they got me a cd or a nice sweater or a giftcard.

What is your favorite Christmas Song?
I rocked out to The Little Drummer Boy last night. Pah-rum-pah-pum-pum. Ding. Ding.

Candy canes?
Not a big fan of the peppermint ones. I like the fruity kind. In the holiday season I suck on them as a substitute for the cigarettes I still miss smoking.

Me? Vain? Sure.

This morning has been hectic. My boss left for the day at eleven, and I had to finish up her last minute stuff. The designers sent out an SOS for help, so I was reassigned for the morning. I had been looking forward to working on my own stuff today so I could stay on schedule. Oh well.

Is it wrong that I'm already looking at maternity clothes? It was all I could do not to add summer maternity clothes to my Christmas list. What can I say? I'm excited, and I'm not foreseeing any fertility problems. After Chester and I got married, it only took us two cycles to become pregnant. I'm not counting on it happening that quickly, because so many details have to fall into place for conception to happen.

Here's my answers to the meme at Mom Writes and The Dana Files:

1. Flip to page 18, paragraph 4 - in the book closest to you right now, what does it say?
I'm surrounding by bookshelves at work, so I picked the first one I touched, The Robber Bride, by Margaret Atwood. "On these pilgrimages she collects relics: a flower from each site. Or a weed rather, because what she picks are common things--daisies, clovers, poppies. Sentimentalities of this kind seem reserved, in her, for people she does not know."

2. If you stretch out your left arm as far as possible, what are you touching?
A box of Kleenex, a cubicle wall.

3. What’s the last program you watched on TV?
Face Lift with Debbie Travis, on HGTV.</font>

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.
1:24pm. (it was 1:33pm)

5. Aside from the computer, what can you hear right now?
"Now these thoughts are never resting..." The clock radio on my desk.

6. When was the last time you were outside and what did you do?
About twenty minutes ago, I was outside, walking back from my car. I went out for lunch. I had an oven-roasted twister wrap from KFC with a milk.

7. What are you wearing?
Red v-neck tee, jeans, white socks, white adidas superstar mules.

8. Did you dream last night? If you did, what about?
I dreamt I had a huge fight with Chester. He wanted to leave me, and I spent the rest of the dream trying to convince him not to.

9. When was the last time you laughed?
I'm really tense today... I don't know. I guess this morning with Ben. He was making silly sounds in the car on the way to daycare.

10. What’s on the walls, in the room you’re in right now?
It's my cubicle. I have a phone list, a list of local charities and the items they need for Christmas, a bunch of Ben pictures, and a magnet that says, "Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.'--The Talmud."

11. Have you seen anything strange lately?
One of the dads dropping off a child at daycare this morning had a really bad mullet. Slicked back sides and everything. I felt sorry for his daughter.

12. What do you think about this meme?
It's a wonderful way to spend a few minutes not working.

13. What’s the last film you saw?
I have a movie on every night when I go to sleep. Does that count? I have over 75 old classic movies on tape. Last night, it was Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House. Other than that, it was White Christmas on Sunday.

14. If you became a multimillionaire, what would you do with the money?
Pay off our debt, quit my job to be a SAHM, buy a house, pay off my families' mortgages, buy a hybrid vehicle, give to well-deserving charities, save a chunk for our children's trust funds, and invest the rest in safe mutual funds.

15. Tell us something about yourself that most people don’t know.
There's a lot about me that most people don't know. In college, I was "this close" to getting my nether region pierced. I was too scared of losing all sensation down there, though.

16. If you could change ONE THING in this world, without regarding politics or bad guilt, what would it be?
This one is tough. I would like all forms of bigotry to disappear. Is that political?

17. Do you like to dance?
Not seriously in front of a bunch of people, but I like doing a little jig along with the radio. Unless people are expecting goofy dancing, in which case, I'm your girl.

18. George Bush?
Seems like a nice guy.

19. What do you want your future children’s names to be, girl/boy?
A girl will be Somerset. A boy will be Spencer.

20. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes. But only the British Isles.

21. What do you want God to tell you, when you come to heaven?
Hey, I like what you did with all that crap I shoved at you in your early twenties.

22. Who should do this meme?
Anybody who would like to escape into vanity world for a little while.